Obama saved the country, but Michelle Obama’s staff is too big

Call them First Lady Czars

Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but we now know where all that extra stimulus money is going—toward Michelle Obama’s oversized staff!

As loyal readers of this blog know, I get much of my information from chain e-mails, so I was shocked and appalled this week when I received an e-mail alerting me that the first lady has over 20 attendants—24, to be exact. “No, Michele Obama does not get paid to serve as the First Lady and she doesn’t perform any official duties,” the e-mail informed me. “But this hasn’t deterred her from hiring an unprecedented number of staffers to cater to her every whim and to satisfy her every request in the midst of the Great Recession”

I was especially shocked, since 24 attendants is five more than Hillary Clinton ever had, and two, uh, less, than Laura Bush had.

So, yes, Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but his wife is drunk on personal servants. We should impeach Obama because his wife’s staff is almost as large as Laura Bush’s.

Obama saved the country, but he doesn’t want gay kids beaten up

I couldn't find an image of Kevin Jennings, so I used one of Ken Jennings—because Obama is putting America's values in Jeopardy!

Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but apparently he’s more interested in preventing financial decline than moral decline. His latest violation of traditional American values? Appointing educator/anti-violence activist Kevin Jennings as his so-called safe-school czar. Why is that offensive, you ask? I’ll tell you why: Because Jennings is a homosexual, and has a history of pushing the homosexual agenda.

“His life’s work has been the promotion of homosexuality, even in elementary schools,” complained Iowa Rep. Steven King, a brilliant conservative who insists he has plenty of gay friends.

In a shocking twist that could have been pulled from one of Rep. King’s popular horror novels, Kevin Jennings actually wrote the forward to a book called “The Queering of Elementary Education”—proof that like Obama, he wants to queer elementary education.

So yes, Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, stabilizing a rapidly crumbling economy in a remarkable last-minute save, but in appointing Kevin Jennings, he has made it clear that he does not believe gay students should be violently beaten at school. Call it the Queering of the White House.

Obama saved the country, but he hasn’t accomplished anything

A scathing, dead-on critique of Obama—made by someone who looks just like him!

Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but it’s increasingly clear that he hasn’t accomplished anything. That point was well made by, of all places, “Saturday Night Live,” where the always-hilarious Fred Armisen, a dead-ringer for Obama who has won wide acclaim for his spot-on impression of the president, detailed Obama’s record of inertia and failure:

A reader wrote Rich Lowry to gloat weigh in: “A comedy meme is crystalizing: Like “Bill Clinton is horny,” “George Bush is an idiot,” “Al Gore is a lecturing, boring, know-it-all”: “For all his talk Obama hasn’t accomplished anything.”"

That comedy meme is funny because it is true. By this point in their presidencies, most presidents have already accomplished every single item they’ve campaigned on. But outside of saving the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, and stabilizing the financial system with a daring bailout of the banks that even Republican Mitch McConnell agrees was necessary and effective, Obama has accomplished nothing. The president needs to get his priorities straight.

Obama saved the country, but he didn’t bring the Olympics to America because the world hates him

That's what you get for putting a guy who can't bowl in charge of the entire Olympics

Sure, Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but mainstream media depictions of the president as a savior beloved by the entire, swooning world couldn’t be further from the truth. For proof, just look at today’s news that the president failed to secure the Olympics for America.

Why did Obama’s high-profile bid fail? It could be because of the notoriously secretive, unpredictable inner politics of the Olympic Committee, which has a long history of defying conventional wisdom and, well, common sense. But more likely it’s because, like Americans back home, the rest of the world hates Obama for his smarmy attitude and big-government agenda. In less than a year, Obama has single-handedly undone all the goodwill that President Bush amassed. “The Obama magic has truly fizzled,” Ann Alhouse writes. I’ll go one further and suggest he never even was magic to begin with.

So yes, Obama did save the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, putting a swift halt to a financial downward spiral that threatened to consume not only the country but the entire industrialized world, but today’s news proves beyond a doubt that Obama is deeply unpopular with the rest of the world. Note to red-blooded military leaders: Now that Obama is down and out, it might be a great time to stage that coup.

Obama saved the country, but Rep. Alan Grayson’s comments were unprecedentedly offensive

Republicans would never make such outrageous assertions

Sure, Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but the president and his Democrat cronies are getting out of line, making flagrantly offensive allegations. The latest incident occurred yesterday, when Rep. Alan Grayson suggested that the Republican health care plan for the sick is to “die quickly.”

That’s a flagrant misrepresentation of the Republican health care plan, which actually offers a host of incredibly specific ways to improve health care, including 1. making health care better; 2. making government smaller; 3. improving health care. It’s a hell of a plan.

Grayson’s offensive remarks were unfounded. Sure, Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite (R-Fla.), once said,  “Last week, Democrats released a health care bill which essentially said to America’s seniors: drop dead,” and Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.), said of the Democat plan that it’s “gonna kill people.” And Rep. Michelle Bachmann just implied Democrats are in favor of abortions for 13-year-old girls. And Sarah Palin suggested the whole death panel thing. But those remarks were all 100% true, while Grayson’s was false, so he should be reprimanded.

So, Mr. Obama, you saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, securing the country’s financial sector when it appeared to be on its last knees, but you need to control your own Democrat minions. Their rhetoric has gotten out of control. What’s next, Democrats accusing world leaders of lying in the very halls of Congress?

Obama saved the country, but his Marxism leaves us no choice but to overthrow him in a military coup

It's time these troops stop hugging the president and start overthrowing him

Yes, Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but what do you do when his big-government policies go to far? Why, a coup, of course.

Rational-minded Newsmax writer John L. Perry suggested a military uprising in a well-reasoned piece that was inexplicably pulled from that site.

“Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation,” Perry wrote. “Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars … Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible.”

Not reversible, at least, without a military coup. I like the precedent that sets; Democracy got us into this mess, anyway.

So I agree with Perry. Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, preventing a complete economic collapse that would have been felt for generations, but since he used big-government to stave off this collapse, we must call on our military to overthrow him. I’m surprised nobody suggested this sooner.

Obama saved the country, but he’s going to tax wheelchairs!

Woof... socialism did this to me...

Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, but now we know how he plans to pay for all his moldy big-government cheese: He’s going to tax wheelchairs! The GOP lays out Obama’s sinister wheelchair-taxing plan in a truth-telling new ad.

Granted, the current health care plan doesn’t actually tax ordinary wheelchairs, but still, the possibility, which this ad astutely presents as fact, is horrifying!

Yes, I’ll concede that Obama saved the country from the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, putting a swift halt to an emergency that threatned to spiral out of control and consume the entire industrialized world, but his wheelchair-taxing plan proves once and for all that he is an evil, evil Muslim—oops, I meant man. He’s an evil, evil man.